HEALTH

This New Breathalyzer Will Tell You When You’ve Had Too Much Turkey To Drive

Afraid you’ve stuffed yourself too much to safely get behind the wheel this Thanksgiving? Critics are raving about a new breathalyzer that will tell you when you’ve eaten so much turkey that it’s dangerous to drive.

Local and national authorities are hoping to see a substantial decrease in DUIs this Thanksgiving, all thanks to this new gadget’s ability to detect the levels of turkey coursing through your bloodstream.

The tool, created by The Sharper Image, can be yours for only $29.99! The company has also announced a planned release of breathalyzers that can detect dangerous levels of stuffing, cranberry sauce, and pie.

“Our new breathalyzer will help users celebrate the holiday while also staying within the legal limit,” said Sharper Image CEO Lance Reese. “Now you can drive back from a relative’s house while knowing that you aren’t putting someone else’s life in danger.”

The law currently defines the legal limit of turkey as two drumsticks, or five hearty slices of breast slathered with gravy.

The product’s rating on Amazon currently sits at 4.8 stars, coming from 22,000+ reviews.

“This breathalyzer might have saved my life,” wrote Richard Mulberry, one of the product’s first reviewers. “Without it, I probably would’ve fallen asleep on the drive back from my mother-in-law’s house. Instead, I just ate another helping of pie and passed out on her couch!”

Get yours today, so that you only drive once you know for sure that you’ve sobered up — which generally takes a few hours or a substantial bowel movement.

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