Hot Hands Releases New XTreme Cheddar Blast Flavor
Promotional material claims that the new product will deliver up to ten hours of cheese....
NEWS
Target Requests That Shoppers Wear Masks While Crushing Others Under Black Friday Stampede
The new regulation will help limit Black Friday deaths — caused by Covid-19....
Botanical Garden Daffodils Escape Cage
People in the surrounding area have been warned to keep an eye out for the wild flower....
Conservative Pundits Warn Of Halloween Candy Laced With Covid Vaccine
According to pundits on Fox News, One America News Network, Newsmax, and other sources, trick-or-treaters have something other than razor blades to worry about this...
‘It’s Good For The Heart,’ Says Wino Three Bottles Deep
This past Friday, the guests at a dinner party in Millburn, New Jersey had mixed reactions when their wine-loving acquaintance presented his drunken research on...
Ikea Hunters Haul Back Bed From Swedish Wild
The wild Grimsbu bed was spotted nearby a flock of Friheten couches....
A Freak Of Nature: This Baby Was Born Without Teeth
Revolting. Horrifying new images from Salt Lake City, Utah, are proving the birth of a deformed baby that was born without teeth. We’re certainly disgusted...
Man In Produce Section Can’t Wait To Let These Vegetables Rot In The Fridge
Recent reports show that Libertyville, IL man Mike Gutt was spotted yesterday excitedly loading organic vegetables into his cart, which will all certainly rot to...
‘How Could Anyone Possibly Drink 5 Glasses Of Water Per Day?’ Wonders Man Who Just Ate 5 Bags Of Chips
Recent reports show that area man Jeremy Stilton, who just devoured five whole bags of potato chips, has been questioning the feasibility of drinking five...
We Asked A Trader Joe’s Employee What His Box Cutter Was For And Instantly Regretted It
Oh fuck. We’ve really messed up here. We could have just walked in, grabbed the speculoos beer, and walked out. But no, we had to ask...