As President Donald Trump and former Vice President Joe Biden prepare to square off in the next presidential debate, self-loathing people all across the country...
While surveys show most Americans believe the Vice President assumes presidential powers in the event of a president’s death, constitutional experts have confirmed that it...
Brushing off their scarecrows and nailing up their “pick-your-own-fruit here” signs in preparation for autumn, the nation’s cider mills are reported to have officially started...
White House sources have confirmed that, since taking office, Donald Trump has spent 25% of his presidency stuck in the sand traps at his Mar-a-Lago...
Blindly squirming its way through the intestine of its latest host, area Taenia saginata was reportedly overjoyed to realize it had latched itself onto the...
Following a three-week investigation, FDA officials are accusing fruit company Dole of produce-rights violations. “Our findings show that Dole has been keeping their fruit in...
While certain health officials have questioned the safety of deriving the spread’s signature yeast extract from infected genitals, worldwide OB/GYNs have confirmed that the delicious...
Whole Foods shopper Evelyn Morris in Denver, Colorado has reported her Amazon Prime membership providing her an entire 37 cents off her overall purchase. Witnesses...
New reports show that the Make-A-Wish Foundation has found itself in a precarious financial situation after agreeing to buy an eleven-year-old cancer patient anything he...
Witnesses at Haiku Sushi in New Rochelle, New York have confirmed reports that area weakling Benjamin Miller requested a fork after fumbling with his chopsticks...