This Great New Bottomless Brunch Spot Will Let You Take Off Your Pants
Finally — a bottomless brunch that lives up to its name. Starting this week, The Sunday Grill in Kips Bay, Manhattan is allowing all customers...
NEWS
Protein Powder Scoop Unearthed Like Ancient Fossil
After several unsuccessful excavation attempts, area man Larry Binder finally dug up his missing protein powder scoop, much like an archeologist unearthing an ancient fossil....
Wendy’s CEO Warns Of Square Cow Extinction By 2027
While presenting a financial report during Wendy’s annual earnings call, CEO Todd A. Penegor informed investors that the complete depletion of the global square cow...
Chanel Recalls $2,000 Designer Body Bag Following Backlash
Following intense backlash on social media, French fashion house Chanel has decided to recall its new designer body bag. The body bag, priced at $2,000,...
Man Exhausted After Long Day In Bed
Despite all evidence to the contrary, local resident Mike Collins is reportedly exhausted after a long day in bed. “I am beat,” said Collins as...
$10 Guinness All Foam
Maybe after a $100 we'll start to feel tipsy...
Dole Releases New Green Spinach To Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day
The company has announced that one lucky bag of spinach will contain a four-leaf clover...
Luck of the Irish: Man Who Went to Crowded Pub Only Contracted Herpes
Talk about counting your lucky charms: local Dubliner John Kelly chose to go out this St. Patrick’s Day in the middle of a pandemic and...
Chicago Once Again Under Fire For Dyeing River Green With Blood Of Thousands Of Leprechauns
The City of Chicago has once again come under fire from Leprechaun Rights activists, who claim that it is inhumane to use Leprechaun blood to...
CDC Requests St. Patrick’s Day Celebrators Risk Fatal Alcohol Poisoning In Safety Of Own Homes
In anticipation of the nation’s annual tradition of bar-hopping, partying, and copious intoxication on St. Patrick’s Day, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have...