HEALTH

Entire House Unknowingly Using Same Toothbrush

Sources confirm that all five members of the Kirkland household have unknowingly been brushing their teeth with the same toothbrush for the past few months.

“My toothbrush is the white one,” said area dad Rob Kirkland, unaware that his wife’s and three kids’ toothbrush is also the white one.

“I keep my toothbrush on the bottom shelf of the medicine cabinet because it’s easier for me to reach,” said 6-year-old Lisa Kirkland, who, according to witnesses, has not seemed to notice that her toothbrush is never on the bottom shelf when she goes to use it.

Sources close to the family attest it is a “miracle” that no two members of the Kirkland household have ever gone to brush their teeth at the same time and that the family has yet to discover their critical mistake.

“You’d think that someone would at least notice that their toothbrush was mysteriously still wet every time they used it,” said the Kirkland sons’ friend Jack Rabin, who once observed the two brothers both unwittingly go for the white brush during a sleepover. “It’s kind of ironic — by sharing the same toothbrush, they’re probably actually making their teeth dirtier.”

Rabin later admitted that he “didn’t tell anyone though” because he “didn’t want to gross anyone out.”

At press time, one of the Kirkland kids was seen putting the family toothbrush back in the medicine cabinet after accidentally dropping it in the toilet.

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