Sources close to the matter have confirmed that Dad’s 22-year-old girlfriend is now officially Dad’s 22-year-old fiancé.
“I’m excited to share that I’ll be spending forever with the love of my life,” Dad’s 22-year-old girlfriend, Jane Highland, shared on Instagram this past Sunday. “Steve, I never thought I had the capacity to love someone as much as I love you,” she wrote about the man who could easily be her father.
The social media post also featured a ring with a diamond that was roughly the size of a small olive.
The announcement comes only 18 months after Dad cheated on Mom with the attractive 22-year-old and then moved to Miami with her.
“I love you, Steve,” tweeted the woman who clearly only loves his money.
Reports show that Mom has been crying in her room all day, sobbing into her pillow about “that teenage whore.”
While you haven’t yet heard the announcement from Dad himself, he was being suspiciously nice last Wednesday, when he booked you and your three best friends an all-inclusive stay at one of the trendiest hotels in Cancun.
At press time, Dad’s fiancé was telling everyone how sexy she thought Dad was, even though it was clear that she was talking about his yacht, private jet, and 10,000-acre ranch.