Dildos are great, but did you know they have many uses other than just bringing sexual pleasure? Dildos are actually extremely useful in the kitchen! Here are the five best ways to cook some delicious food with your favorite piece of rubber right after using it to bring yourself or a partner to orgasm.
1. Mixing Spoon
Don’t have a mixing spoon on hand? No need to run out to the store and buy one! Dildos actually make great mixing spoons, as they’re conveniently made to resist thick, sticky substances. Neat! Give yours a quick rinse and start mixing. Plus, it’ll bring a whole new meaning to licking off the batter.
2. Rolling Pin
One of the best things about dildos is that they can be used as rolling pins. Of course, some dildos are better than others, depending on the curvature of the shaft. And if you’re baking enough cookies for the whole family, you might want to opt for a dildo that’s at least 14 inches long. You want that dough to turn out right? The bigger the better! Let’s wipe off any dried secretions and get rollin’!
3. Mortar and Pestle
Dildos, especially ones that are extremely hard, are perfect for being used as a pestle. Grasp the center of the shaft and smash the head as hard as you can onto the contents of the mortar. Want to make an amazing pesto using this method? Just make sure to buy a dildo that’s as hard as possible, and in no time, it’ll look like it’s ejaculating delicious green pesto!
4. Meat Tenderizer
To be honest, this one doesn’t work amazingly with your bread-and-butter dildo from the neighborhood sex shop. You’re going to need something a lot more heavy duty for this one. We suggest a powerful vibrator on the highest setting or one of those dildos with bumps all over it. That way, you can clutch it by the balls and smash that meat until it’s tender.