Alright, it’s become pretty much crystal clear that the guy lifting right next to you could kick your ass at basically any physical test under the sun. But hey — you have some other things going for you, right?
Look: a blind man could probably tell that you aren’t even remotely close to as physically attractive as Mr. Greek God over there. But you’re probably funnier, don’t you think?
While Muscle Man isn’t always gonna be that hot, you’ll always be able to make people politely chuckle before awkwardly avoiding eye contact.
In fact, if he knew that you once pumped out six minutes of stand-up at a local open mic night, he’d probably be jealous of you! Who cares that he can curl 45s like they’re nothing? You once made eight uncomfortable New Yorkers chuckle with a zinger about the subway system!
And hey, how about that one time you made your girlfriend’s dad laugh? We all know he’s a hard sell. The powerlifter right beside you may be able to bench double your bodyweight, but he doesn’t even have a joke journal! Pathetic, right?
There’s no need to be embarrassed that he just breezed through 100 push-ups right after you struggled through 15 — in fact, maybe you could even use that as material! Our strong friend would definitely feel embarrassed if he found out he was the subject of one of your scathing internet comedy pieces.
He might look like he’s chiseled from marble, but your Twitter bio is solid gold.
Next time you’re gaping at his superhuman deltoids, just remember the one thing you know that he doesn’t: your comedic poem at the 11th grade talent show won you fourth place.
Believe it or not, there are some things in life more important than not being a complete and utter embarrassment in the gym… and your world-famous joke about bowling alleys might just be one of them.