FEATURED FITNESS

4 Simple Exercises For Your Simple Brain

Everyone knows that exercise is important, but we understand you’ve been having some trouble getting the movements down correctly. That’s why we’ve compiled a list of four extremely simple exercises that are perfect for someone like you. Even though these are all extremely difficult to mess up, make sure you’re paying close attention, okay? We know this stuff doesn’t come naturally to you.

1. Jumping Jacks

Jumping Jacks are an exercise that usually even children are able to master, but don’t worry about being a slow learner! The steps are simple. Just bring your arms together over your head so that your fingertips meet, at the same time as you move your legs apart. Next, jump as you move your arms and legs away from each other, and bring your fingertips together over your head. Then repeat! This should all be done in one fluid motion. Although this is an exercise that requires very little coordination, don’t feel bad if this takes you a few weeks — or even an entire month — to get the hang of. It’s only fair that someone with your lacking athletic ability isn’t held to the same standard as the rest of us.

 2. Jogging In Place

When you have limited space, jogging in place is a great alternative to jogging. It’s also a great alternative for people who are not nearly competent enough to go on a real jog — like you! This one’s a little harder to explain, but you should start by lifting one foot off the ground and then placing it back on the floor. Then, do the same with the other foot. Now repeat a little faster! The trick with this one is to make sure you’re not actually moving. If you find yourself in a different physical location from where you’ve started, that’s a sign that you’ve done something wrong.

 3. Speed Walking

Speed walking is very similar to walking, just faster. Understand? It can be tricky at first, especially if you’ve always been walking as slow as you do. With this one, the secret is to walk like you normally do, just take longer, more frequent strides. We’re sure you’ll fall a few times, but that’s okay! Extremely basic movements have always been challenging for you, and this exercise won’t be an exception.

4. Mountain Climbers

Note: this is a challenge exercise. Do NOT attempt Mountain Climbers until you’ve mastered Jumping Jacks, Jogging In Place, and Speed Walking. You’ll be sure that you’ve mastered these other three when you can do them for a full 30 seconds without falling or collapsing with fatigue. We’re 100% certain that this will be tough for someone of your abilities, but keep at it, okay?

The first step of Mountain Climbers is to get in a push-up position (but don’t worry, you won’t be doing any push-ups). Then, bring your right foot close to your right elbow. After putting your right foot back in its original position, repeat with the left foot. We’re sure someone like you won’t be able to climb any real mountains any time soon, but this is a start!

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